One Fine Morning in Hyrule Castle
by 904QuarterlyFanFictionParty
Summary: I will leave this as a surprise. Please read my profile for information on why any of my uploaded content may seem strange to you!


It was the dawn of a new day in Hyrule, although one would never have guessed, as it looked dark as blackest night. Long ago, Aghanim had succeeded in achieving the power he had always desired by consuming the still warm flesh of the fallen Ganon. After his increase in power elevated him to demi-god status, he had little opposition from the Hylian population in developing his ideal land. Aghanim never quite synced up with the folksy attitudes of the inhabitants of Hyrule, and immediately started an occculto-industrial revolution. Using his wealth of knowledge in the dark arts, coupled with Sahasrahla's radical scientific theory, Aghanim used the power of young women encapsulated in crystals to power the sprawling industrial complex of Neo-Kakariko City. Pollution quickly accumulated on the small planet, causing most flora to perish, and the quality of air was but an ass-hair away from tasting like the exhaust of an inner-city bus. Most farms have abandoned subsistence agriculture by Aghanim's decree, and now mass produce deku nuts needed to synthesize Benzyldekucarinol, Sahasrahla's magically imbued bio-fuel needed to run most machines created since the revolution. This has lead the common-folk of hyrule to subsist purely on one substance, the highly concentrated nutritional supplement created from the fecal matter of the Goron race, mixed with a bit of silverleaf and deku nut.

Things would seem to be going perfectly for the wrinkled overlord, but time takes it toll on all. Upon waking this morning, Aghanim's buildup of coagulated puss and snot that accumulates in his neckfolds, had completely inhibited his ability to shift his head position to take his morning amphetamine stack. "NAVI, YOU SPARKLING SHIT SPRITE. COME CLEAN MY FOLDS SO I CAN GET OFF, IT'S BEEN ALMOST TWO MINUTES. WHEEEERE ARE YOU!?", screamed Aghanim. A light slowly appeared from a hole in the ceiling no larger than a golf ball, as Navi exited her nightly prison into her daily hell. She moved with the languor that comes only with resignation to an existence far worse than death. As Aghanim rolled over to acknowledge the presence of the fairy, he abruptly yowled in anguish, "One of the shards is starting to pierce my throat you twinking twat, service me quick before I begin to bleed". No words were uttered from the once loquacious fairy, as she moved to the aging wizards neck folds and began to lick the vile solidified fluids up. There must have been more blood in today's batch than normal, as the coagulation today had the consistency and flavor of a salt water taffy that had been flavored by a morbidly obese women's menses. Silently, Navi attended to each fold, being certain no bits of the mixture were left to irritate Aghanim before he could get his morning fix, having felt the severity of his rage many times in the past. "It is done, my Lord", said Navi, wincing in anticipation of her next duties. "Aaaah, yes. It only took a few years, but you've finally got the hang of this. Keep up the good work and I may see about increasing the size of your cage a few centimeters. In any case, it's time for my fucking medication. I left the lube behind my headboard, last night before my last dose. Retrieve it whilst I assume the position".

Aghanim removed his filthy satin covers to reveal his wizened hirsute form. A bit of the covers stuck to the hairs in the crack of his ass from his nightly anal secretions as he struggled to turn over. Slowly, shakily, he peeled the sheets to reveal his sagging backside, leaving the residue and all of it's stench for Navi to behold. Navi remained stoically silent, experience had taught her better than to utter a single unneccessary word, lest she receive shock treatment from Aghanim's lightning attack. Navi floated behind the bed, and forced the lube open with the tips of her wings. Applying pressure to the container of astroglide, she made a small puddle on the floor under the bed. She then rolled around in the viscous fluid until she was completely coated, and ready to lubricate Aghanim for his first dosage of his cognitive enhancing drug suppository. "It is time, my Lord", spoke Navi, and Aghanim slid his bony fingers between his ass-folds in order to part his sagging celluite sacks. The folds separated with a crackling sound that could only be likened to the sound of autumn's shedded leaves being crushed into the mouth of a geriatric beagle due to the encrusted fluids the wizard could never wait to cleanse prior to receiving his fix. Navi quickly flitted in and out of Aghanim's gaping hole to assure the lubricant on her body had properly coated his anus, making the rectal administration as painless as possible. "Unnggarrr, Navi.. that's enough. I REFUSE to wait any longer. Dose me now or I'll supplement with YOU instead". Unhesitantly, still coated in a mixture of feces, sweat, lubricant, and the fungus that proliferates in the moist environment of Aghanim's ass, Navi proceeded to open the bedside trunk filled with Aghanim's capsules. Navi then, with a practiced motion, balanced the baseball sized pill on her body and stared into the crevasse, preparing herself for full insertion. Keeping true to her maxim of "Float like a butterfly, penetrate like a bee", Navi darted directed into the wizard's anus, shifting her position at the final moment to use her inertia to slip the pill in "FLRRGHTT". Although having performed this action four times a day for the past three years, Navi miscalculated slightly, and the pill was inserted lengthwise, causing the pill to have a small bit of resistance during the insertion. Navi knew exactly what her fate at this point, and immediately left his rectum, prepared for the same punishment always given for any errors in the dosing procedure.

Immediately rushing from his amphetamine/nootropic stack comeup, and raging from the miscalculation on his spritely servant's part, Aghanim immediate rose. His moistened scrotum smacked against his thighs, making a wet sound that reverberated throughout the entire chamber, perhaps the entire castle, but Navi had no time to consider the other residents. Immediately Aghanim's eyes turned from grey to electric blue, and with one quick dismissing motion channeled his ki into a tangible current, shocking Navi and knocking her against the wall. Electricity still sparking from Navi's charred wings, Aghanim took but a split second to decide Navi's fate. A humming noise filled the air, as Aghanim put his hands together, and slowly opened his hands, a crystalline structure developing between them in the process. "N-no.. this can't be it. I've done nothing but serve you for ye-", stammered Navi, but she was unable to finish her sentence. Aghanim spread his fingers, ejecting the crystal prison towards Navi at the speed of light. Navi was immediately contained in crystalline stasis. "You have failed for the last time you imp, now I shall consume the small bit of magical essence you contain, and rid myself of your irritating light for good". Still nude, and lubricated from administration of his stack, Aghanim teleported his ass over the crystal containing the fairy's essence. He plopped directly down on the crystal, providing Navi with the final sight she would ever view, the greenish hue of his asshole as it enveloped her. A particularly moist dingleberry smeared over her container as she slid inside. Aghanim then rose, his skin illuminated with navi's light essence only momentarily before opening his warddrobe, and selecting today's robes. He grabbed a mug from his bedside table, and twisted a knob placed conveniently next to his table. A muffled scream could be heard from somewhere within the wall, as milk flowed into his mug. Aghanim had been keeping Malon caged within the dungeon above his chambers, for the sole purpose of obtaining the finest milk in the land, from the daughter of Hyrule's local milk expert. He lowered himself into his reading chair, and sipped his milk, content with his morning libations, and looked out upon his province. Hyrule had become the exact image of every twisted desire Aghanim had ever dreamt. He paid no homage to any sage, prayed to no God, and never obtained the triforce. He had achieved it all through brute force, and the advancement of science, technology, and magic. The hero of time had long perished, and with him, the hope of the Hylian people. Reason and ruthlessness had conquered over righteousness, and the wizard would have had it no other way.


End file.
